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Dead Elvis
Sightings Received Friday July 24, 1998

Source Name: H. Deadburg
Time of Sighting: July 23
Picture of Dead E and U.S. Secretary of State Madeleine Albright The Clinton administration has told Palestinian negotiators it sees no chance that Israel will accept a U.S. peace proposal for a further pullback in the West Bank, and the administration is urging the Palestinians to get the best deal they can in direct negotiations, White House officials confirmed to CNN on Thursday.

The unofficial response from Israel was, "If the Clinton administration is so all fired hot on the withdrawal method they should talk to some Catholics that might give a -----. This new strategy must be coming from his advisors. We know that your President Clinton agrees with us that thrusting forward is better than withdrawal.

U.S. Secretary of State Madeleine Albright and newly appointed spin-master Dead Elvis rejected the notion this was a major departure in U.S. policy, but acknowledged deep disappointment that Israel has not been more open to making concessions.

"Concessions are good," says Dead Elvis, "as I recall, concessions were a good 30% of the gate revenue at concerts. Besides, ya just gotta love all those t-shirts and silly hats."

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