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Tuesday, November 4, 1997

Dorothy Channels Us Another One from the WW of theW

Dear Dead Elvis,

I feel very frustrated. I hear the Wicked Witch of the West loud and clear in my brain, but I can't seem to [snip] This letter has been moved to the Dead Dorothy Pages. To find the final letter in this trilogy Click Here.

Monday, November 3, 1997

Another Letter From WWW Channeled by Dead Dorothy

The Winkies were my slaves. After I melted they set themselves free, later to be.... [Snip] This letter has been moved to the Dead Dorothy Pages. To follow the work in process Click Here.

Saturday, November 1, 1997

Another time saving move

"The Task Force on Assistance to Families of Aviation Disasters recommended to Congress that all airline passengers be asked to give the name of a next of kin whenever they buy an airline ticket." That should put a damper on the ol' spur of the moment thrill. Maybe they should institute a type of lottery. When you buy a ticket your survivors get a chance at winning the Jackpot. And for frequent flyiers we can have the every famous Daily Double -- if you crash and burn while being flown to a hospital by a "mission of mercy" helicopter from a downed airplane your family get double..

Friday, October 31, 1997

A Letter From WWW Channeled by Dead Dorothy

Dear Dead Elvis,

[Snip] This letter has been moved to the newly forming Dead Dorothy Pages. To follow the work in process Click Here.

Thursday, October 30, 1997

Dead Di on Her Way
I have met with Dead Di and she assures me she will be making an appearance on the web in the near future. What this space for updates.

Wednesday, October 29, 1997

Michael Jackson Innocent of all Charges
All allegations pending against Michael Jackson have been dropped today when it was revealed that he was not himself. According to sources Michael Jackson has taken a new identity replacing himself by a surgically transformed chimp.

The investigating Lieutenant is quoted as saying "All investigations concerning Mr. Jackson have been dropped. It was only the antics of a gender confused chimp."

Tuesday, October 28, 1997

Chinese Caught Selling Parts
Well, Jack. Looks like Kevorkian Used Organs is not the first entrepenuer to enter into the market. The Chinese are currently being investigated for selling used parts from convicted criminals to rich American businessmen. And you were wondering by Jaywalking was a capital crime?

Friday, October 24, 1997

Jack Kevorkian Opens Used Organ Showroom
Sorry News Abuse guys. I know it's against the rules but this is just too too much -- So I've reposted one of your great news itesm.

Apparently Jack Kevorkian announced he'll begin offering organs from his suicide patients for transplants, on a free first-come first-served basis.

This has got to win Jack the Dead Elvis Entrepreneur of the Year Award. Just as soon as I can figure out a suitable statue and an address I'll mail off a trophy.

By the way Jack, do you have a prepurchase program?

SWM looking for terminally ill patient (or someone not feeling too good at the moment) who happens to have a good liver and suicidal tendancies. Object: transpant. RSVP Jack. Motel 6, P.O. Box 555 Diemy Way, -- Somewhere, Wisconsin 55555.

Thursday, October 23, 1997

Rustler's Rhapsody
You may be wondering "What's this preoccuption with movies all of a sudden?" Well, it's not all that sudden. I have been using films as work tools for at least two decades now. There are some films that are so just plain worth watching. Rustler's Rhapsody is one of those films. Yes, the film talks about recurrance. That and any other work ideas that the film may contain are not why I consider it so valuable.

After you have been walking around dead with lizards, rats and rubber fingers in your pockets ideas begin to lose their power to help. You are finding yourself in situations where emotional and mood queues are what's necessary to get through. That is were Rustler's Rhapsody comes it.

Don't take a dead guys word for it. Watch the film yourself.

Wednesday, October 22, 1997

It has just come to my attention that there are individuals existing that have not seen the movie Beetlejuice. While I can accept this as a theoretical mathematical possibility, it just does not make sense in practice that anyone can actually be walking around dead and not have seen this movie. A friend tried to illuminate the flaw in my logic by pointing out that some folks don't know they are walking around dead...and that was just too weird for words. Next thing you know they will try to convince me that people actually believe they are bipedal organic formations having their arrising in flesh. Get outa here.

Monday, October 20, 1997

Celebrity Protection Program
You have suspected its existence. Now you know where to go to find it.
Saturday, October 18, 1997

Old Time Radio Comedy Favorites
The Smithsonian Collection: A Rare In-Depth Look At the History of Old Time Radio.

  1. Album 1
    • The Jack Benny Program
    • The Burns & Allen Show
    • The Edgar Bergen & Charlie McCarthy Show
  2. Album 2
    • The Eddie Cantor Show
    • Fibber McGee & Molly
    • The Life of Riley
  3. Album 3
    • Duffy's Tavern
    • The Great Gildersleeve
    • Our Miss Brooks
  4. Album 4
    • The Fred Allen Show
    • The Bickersons
    • The Aldrich Family

As this list clearly demonstrates even though the comedians may be dead their comedy isn't. If it's a good overview of comedy on Old Time Radio you be lookin' for this is the four CD set for you.

Those of you that have been around the block more than once will recognize many of the sitcoms of today in these shows from the 1940s. You may as well enjoy them in their original form.

Friday, October 17, 1997

Finally a band that promotes rampant hardware acquisition.
Cover of albumThe Texas Chainsaw Orchestra promise that every instrument used in the production of their CD can be purchased in a well-stocked hardware store. This I believe implicitly.

Bob Y, "JW" G., Rich D., and "Big Boy" M. rend music in ways I haven't experienced except in a dusty corner or two of hell reserved for over-anal High School Band Leaders. One obvious problem with this album is that after a few listens the rejective humor ("this is like too weird man") evaporates leaving one listening to the darn thing as music. That's not the problem -- the CD holds its own as music. The problem is that one's ear is somehow altered and other music begins to take on a different character. You know the little song the coffee grinder humms in the morning. And the finger snapping tunes your dryer beats out along with your socks?

If you're not ready to have your musical horizons shreded by a Stihl or McCulloch, this is not the album for you.

The only possible complaint I could make about the selection of songs is the obvious omission of "Stairway to Heaven" and a Santana number. Also guys next time include the longer performance version of "Chain Gang."

Thursday, October 16, 1997

I'll do my own pissing, if you please!
Celebrated author and all around good guy James Michener - aged 90 - requested that he be removed from a life-sustaining kidney dialysis machine. A courageous move.

Short Little Dead Dude Has Big Dreams
The world's shortest man, who dreamed of marrying a tall actress has died. Mr. Mohammed of Calcutta, India was recognized as the world's shortest man by the Guinness Book of World Records. At 22 1/2 inches tall, he was often brutalized by crows, dogs and children. A misfit -- even in the rough streets of Calcutta -- he often talked to the eunuchs about his dreams because they never laughed at him.

Wednesday, October 15, 1997

Christmas is almost upon us.
Hey, all you gyyz and ghouls my favorite holiday is rapidly approaching -- Halloween. And you know what that means? Another year gone by without doing my Christmas shopping early.

You know why I can't do my Christmas shopping early? Because you poop heads don't have your shops up in the Slimeworld Online Mall. Slimeworld OnLine Mall is filled with Snake-Oil Salesperons, Hucksters and other assorted retailers. Why not you?

Tuesday, October 14, 1997

Pictures Up
Well, I've got good news; and I've got bad news. The good news is: the Dead Elvis pictures are posted. The bad news is: the Dead Elvis pictures are posted.

Fond Memories
My buddy Oz is heading back east today to record tracks for a group called "Third Rail". Never heard the group before. Told they are interesting. If you want any particulars keep an eye on Gorebag Sez® for updates.

For me it's all in the name. Back in the early days of subway maintenance a third rail and I were introduced the hard way. Left quite an impression.

Every now and then, when conditions are just so, I can still smell the smoldering of foot.

Monday, October 13, 1997

Almost Buried
Talk about being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

As some of you may know, I don't get out a lot. Today was supposed to be different. Today was going to be "an outing".

Well, conincedently with my decision to go into town to take care of some errands; some ding-dong decided to swipe a corpse from the local morgue.

No sooner did I get to town when I was pulled over and charged with being dead in public.

They hauled my butt into custody. Jail might have been okay. Turns out the funeral parlor was scheduled for services this afternoon. So, into the box I go and off they start on the weeping and wailing. At least until I rose out of the coffin to complain about their choice of music. Hudson Brothers? Who listens to the Hudson Brothers anymore?

Sunday, October 12, 1997

Princess Di Sightings
Good news Fair goers, the Princess Di sightings continue to pour in. Excellent. Party on dudes.

Form Out of Form
The mail in form that I'm using to collect the Princess Di Sightings is a little idiosyncratic. What that means to all you diggers and diggettes is: "The damn thing in clipping the end off about a quarter of the postings." So if you get an email asking for elucidation and begging you to send in the end of your sighings, that's me. Please RSVP.

I have noticed an upsurge in the number of Dead Elvis sightings. For reasons that my attorney cautions me against discussing in public let's just say it would be nice if some of the folks making these sightings of Dead Elvis could report them. I will in turn pass them on to said aforementioned attorney of the second part -- the attorney of the first part split after our first lunch meeting, go figure.

Well, it's a long shot but what the hay. Please be clear that we are not looking for Elvis sightings. He doesn't need to prove his whereabouts. The guy has an ironclad alibi. And, besides the guy was a star. Now as to Dead Elvis. He never was a star and proving his whereabouts might be worth a prize of some sort. So, if you have a Dead Elvis sighting, do send it in.

Saturday, October 11, 1997

Hi Mom, It's Me
Yes, Dead Elvis Lives -- if you can call this living. I'm proud to be hosting the Princess Di Sightings Page for my long time bud Gorebag.

Tortilla Not My Idea
I want to go on record. The portrait thing of Elvis in a tortilla was not my idea. Some of the Dead Gyyz thought it would be an interesting test to see if the schmuck would eat the thing or frame it. Gab won an easy 5 spot betting on "frame it." Guess all that earth duty paid off. Being an angel doesn't really qualify Gab as a Dead Gyy; but we really like his stories, so we encourage him to hang around.

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