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Dead Elvis

Sightings Received Tuesday December 30, 1997

Harrisonburg, VA
Name? Randall Pink
When? Friday, November 5th, 1997
Circumstance? He came to the party my Fraternity had for our initiation. I was pretty wasted so it was hazy, but I know it was him. He came up and congratulated me. However, when I replied "Thank You, Thank you very much," he got all offended and karate-chopped me. I was just excited to meet him, I know it was him, there's no doubt in my mind. Unless it was just my brother.

Sightings Received Tuesday December 30, 1997

Northridge, CA
Name? Red Brown
When? Sunday-Dec 28
Circumstance? I was busy filling prescriptions when one of the clerks brought an RX for Prozac to me to fill for a customer out front. Not too unusual, except the Physician's name was Nicropolis, and the RX was dated DEC 22 97 in Memphis, TN!!! The "patient" was strolling around our store with two other men who looked like they played for the RAIDERS. When the script was finished, he polietly said "Thank you very much"

Winn Dixie
Name? Nick
When? Today-12/29/97
Circumstance? Looked hungry -- was in produce section with bananas and peanut butter!!! Said he was looking for bread!

Sightings Received Tuesday December 23, 1997

Purlear, North Carolina
Name? Thundercloud
When? 25 December 1997
Circumstance? On one of my frequent trips to the North Pole (collecting discarded elf clothing) I happened to look throught the window of Santa's toy factory and to my surprise there was "E" right before my eyes. He was wearing a white jump suit, I'm sure it was so he could disappear in the snow if spotted, but sure enough there he was. He was singing real low, barely could make out the words "I saw Mommy kissing Santa Claus."

Sightings Received Monday December 22, 1997

Gold's Gym
Name? Burrell Hill
When? 12/18/97
Circumstance? Imagine my suprise when I discovered that the older guy next to me benching 500# was the king. He was ripped, Schwartzenegger look out. Here comes the E. He told me of his plans to run for president in 2000, after he wins he say's his goal is World domination. I will be the first to kneel at the feet of my Elvis overlord.

Homeless Shelter
Name? Ted
When? December 21, 1997
Circumstance? I was volonteering at a shelter giving out Sunday dinner when in walked Elvis with a donation big enough to supply a truckload of turkeys for next weeks Christmas dinner. It was him all right. I couldn't miss his voice. His hair has thinned out a bit, but he looks great.

Sightings Received Friday December 19, 1997

Nordonia High School
Name? Jackie Gnoffe
When? Now
Circumstance? He was a substitute teaching our highschool german class! Imagine our suprise!

Sightings Received Thursday December 18, 1997

Under the bridge in Vancouver,B.C.
Name? Elfie
When? Dec.2 1997
Circumstance? I was living under the bridge one fall night and along came a gentle man with grey thin hair and raggy clothing. He looked as though he was homeless so I offered him a cup of hot coffee. We sat and chatted for awhile until I noticed the way he was talking. It was Elvis to my surprise! Of course I knew if I asked him he would altimately deny it so I left it at that . He drank his coffee and went on his merry way.

Sightings Received Thursday December 18, 1997

Crossgates Mall, Albany,NY
Name? Graveytrain
When? December 15th 1997
Circumstances? he was the santa at the mall. i tried to get him to flip off the camera with me when it was my turn to get my pic taken with him, but he wouldn't. i mean what the hell? its MY $7 polaroid.

Sightings Received Friday December 12, 1997

Pichl bei Wels Austria
Name? Karin Augeneder
When? 11.12.1997
Circumstance? I was very drunk, but I'm pretty sure that was him hiding in my closet. At least the shoes looked like his.

Sightings Received Wednesday December 10, 1997

Barnsley market
Name? Jane Slater
When? Tuesday December 9th
Circumstance? Elvis was buying a plastic guitar for an American friend. He was wearing a duffle coat and what appeared to be wearing a false beard. He is, also, losing his hair. Elvis has lost a lot of weight and looks very fit.

Sightings Received Tuesday December 2, 1997

Graveyard
Name? The Ripper
When? Thanksgiving
Circumstance? He was eating my turky sandwich with my 2 liter Surge. So I sent him back with his with the alien friends.

Sightings Received Tuesday December 2, 1997

Singapore
When? Midnight
Circumstance? Elvis is not dead. I saw him with my very own eyes at the s'pore national airport. Now, he's very very thin and wear glasses. When I went to him and ask him for his autograph. He smiled at me and signed this name "Robert" . I then thought that Robert is his new name. He probabaly changed his name so that people wont know who he is!

Sightings Received Tuesday November 25, 1997

Bathroom
Name? Withheld
Circumstance? In my bathroom....every morning. He won't leave. He won't leave, I tell you. He uses my toothbrush. He leaves hair in the shower. Empty Jack Daniels bottles in the toilet. And, used Depends in the cupboards.

Vancouver, BC, CANADA
Name? Sivle
When=NOV. 22, 1997
Circumstance? Actual photo of Elvis available with CURRENT NEWSPAPER,..He looks real good,...Hair is still dyed black,.. But you can see the grey in his sideburns.

Sightings Received Monday November 24, 1997

At my wedding reception
Name? Little Lisa Marie
Circumstance? There I was slicing a big hunka wedding cake for me and Michael when I noticed one of the caterers bore a striking resemblance to Daddy. He was muttering something under his breath about the flower girl being Dennis Rodman. The band was playing some polka and I knew it was him cause there's no other pelvis that works that way.

Sightings Received Sunday November 23, 1997

Hooters Girly Bar, Hindley St. Adelaide Sth Australia
Name? Alan Grimbledick
When? 21st November 1997 4.45pm
Circumstance? On entering the bar, was seen sitting on a chair in the centre of the stage with a stripper by the name of Elizabeth Boop bouncing up and down on his lap while hanging on to his huge side burns.

Sightings Received Monday November 17, 1997

Galesburg, IL
Name? Renee Jenkins
When? November 15th
Circumstance? I saw him leaving the corner connection bar drunk at 2am, with another woman and trust me it wasn't pricilla. not a pretty sight! They zoomed off in his pink station wagon to the Motel 6, they leave the light on you know.

The Boeing Aircraft Co. Everett Washington
When? Sunday morning 4:30 am
Circumstance? I was Just coming in for the 6th straight week of overtime and I saw THE KING coming out of a 747 cargo plane under construction. He was wearing one of those XXXLARGE WHITE COVERALLS that are issued to workers. If i was wanting to hide then 3rd shift at Boeing is a good place. I tried to say hi and he ducked in to a stairway to the tunnels under the plant he sure is a quiet guy.

Sightings Received Wednesday November 12, 1997

Roswell New Mexico
When? Nov. 12, 1997
Circumstance? First of all I'd like to set somthing strait, just because this is coming from roswell were the sawsers were spoted dosn't mean that this has got to be some kind of a hoax, becides the aliens really did land here, trust me I know Elvis.

Luckily I was not turned in to one too but if he comes back you can bet I will be.

Sightings Received Tuesday November 11, 1997

New York
Well My family was touring New York, when I saw him. He was On top of the building and started to fall head first. He fell for about 3 hours and finally landed in a portable meat grinder, which was conveniently placed on top of a Limo. He was spit out and landed in thre sewer. I ran down to see how he was. I saw Elvis posing for playgirl with Clinton taking the pictures(his job, after being kicked out by a woman he thought was his wife, but really his daughter. -- true story)

Sightings Received Monday November 10, 1997

New York
When? 1997

Circumstance? I was walking down the street and I think I saw the king in a car... Scary shit

Sightings Received Tuesday November 4, 1997

Roswell, New Mexico
When? Wednesday morning, November 3, 1997
Circumstance? Jeez, if I hadn't of seen it myself, who would of beleived it that the King would appear right here in Roswell New Mexico, he came out of a shiny metal thing that was in the bushes out by town, he could be an alien imiatating Evis Preseley but I doubt it because the whole town is filled with aliens, they have taken over and there are no humans left here, b...
[Webmaster's note: the submission ends abruptly at this point. Purely an accident, I'm sure.]

Sightings Received Thursday October 30, 1997

Marine World
It was earlier this summer. The family and I were on vacation out in California. We went to that Marine World place. And to our surprise we found Dead Elvis working in one of the shows as a performer. You would have thought he would be making music or something. But no. He was swimming around doing tricks under a stage name....Namu.

Sightings Received Monday October 27, 1997

Albertsons
Elvis aint dead . He was standing in line behind me at Albertsons last week. I shit you not. El is very fat now. Id say he go 275 at least. Got his hair dyed black, got the old El 50's duck tail look not the shag he used to have at Vegas. he was wearing all black.got a new old lady. She got a Bubble hairdo from the 60's and looks like she is even older than me. But El still has those boss glass's with the holes in the earthings.He said something to his ol lady like "Ya get that mag zine darlin'"(Teen-Beat?).I swear Im not making this up.

What was really wierd was I was apparently the only one in the store that noticed him. I said something to the checker about taking good care of the "King" I dont think he had a clue as to what I was talking about. I came within a heartbeat of asking him for an autograph..but dumb old me didnt want to act like I was uncool...I regret it now. Hope I run into him again..wont fuck up next time,. Im not making any of this up.

"In Life..You only regret the things you DIDN'T do" -J. W., Kagnew Station 1967 At 02:16

Sightings Received Monday October 13, 1997

Spain
Name? eric
When? my watch was blurry, but it was real dark

Circumstance=well, first of all let me explain that i am in no way the type of person that "sights" anything out of the ordinary. ever. really. i mean, do you know those new 3-d picture holo-thingies that are all the rage? well, i'm the person who can never see the hologram, or whatever it is, in the middle of the design. in fact, just between you, me and the fence post, i'm sure all over the place, bathtubs full of punch, naked dancers, you know the drill, and sure enough, walking towards me, there he was. he had his hair a little longer than usual, you know, but the sideburns, the sunglasses, the tight pants and the incredible beer belly were a dead give-away. besides, i'd been dreaming about him recently. oh yeah, he was whistling one of his big hits, "don't Abe tender", i think it was, under his breath a funny thing is that i'd been dreaming recently about being abducted by aliens. do you want i should go on?

 

 



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