Washington
Source Name: Sasquatch
Time of Sighting: Mar 2

Dead Elvis could not stand by passive in the background at recent Clinton photo-op. Compeled to protect the decency of our youth, Dead Elvis jumps forward using the only tool he had available -- his guitar.

Russia

"I want to say that I'm not going anywhere," Russian President Boris Yeltsin sitting with advisor Dead Elvis said on national television. "I'm not going to resign."

Mexico

Picture of Dead Elvis and his crashed car. -- Mexican authorities are reknowned for their harsh policy against traffic accidents.

Sudan

Picture of Dead Elvis at Suganese pharmaceutical factory. -- In a surge of humanitarian zeal and moment of political idiocy Dead Elvis decides to help clean up efforts at a Sudanese pharmaceutical factory.

Columbia Pictures

Picture of Dead Elvis with cast of Dance With Me -- Word has it that serious consideration has been given to a post-production re-edit of the limpid sex sizzler "Dance With Me".

MOSCOW

Picture of Dead Elvis At Launch -- Russia blasts first politician into space Thursday.

In a related story

Picture of Dead Elvis Before Blast Off -- The Soyuz TM-28 docking plans with Mir are threatened by possible problems with the station's automatic docking system, known as Kurs.

BAGHDAD, Iraq

Picture of Dead Elvis Driving UN Inspectors -- Various agencies have apparently been informed that an inspection team was denied access to a location not on a list of declared sites.

Washington

Picture of President Bill and Dead Elivis -- President Clinton said Friday he will testify "completely and truthfully" when questioned by Independent Counsel Ken Starr about his (Clinton's) relationship with Monica Lewinsky.

Washington

Picture of Monica, President Bill and Dead Elivis -- Now that she's received immunity from prosecution, Monica Lewinsky is prepared to testify that she and President Bill Clinton discussed how to conceal their alleged sexual relationship, sources say.

Washington

Picture of Dead E and U.S. Secretary of State Madeleine Albright -- The Clinton administration has told Palestinian negotiators it sees no chance that Israel will accept a U.S. peace proposal for a further pullback in the West Bank, and the administration is urging the Palestinians to get the best deal they can in direct negotiations.

Pentagon

Picture of Dead E and William Cohen -- Dead Elvis was on hand at a recent Pentagon press briefing to squelch recent rumors that he developed his current condition while on duty in Loas.

Belfast, North Ireland

Picture of Dead E Marching -- The only thing the Orange Order and residents of a Catholic neighborhood could agree on was neither of them wanted Dead Elive marching through their neighborhood.

Ohio

Picture of Dead E and Pet -- Dead Elvis spotted in a rare moment of relaxation serenading his pet horse Pig.

Washington

Picture of Dead E and Steven Spielberg -- Spielberg, and assistant Dead Elvis, give last minute instructions to the cast of "Saving Private Ryan."

Washington

Picture of Dead E guarding B. Clinton -- Continuing his deep probe of the President's deep probing Ken Starr puts it to the legal system.

Washington

Picture of Dead E with Ken Starr -- Siting information from an unnamed source (shown to the left) Ken Starr claims to have irrefutable evidence linking Bill Clinton and Marilyn Monroe.

Florida

More than 30 years after they were sentenced to death for two murders they did not commit, these Florida men received $500,000 each from the state Monday for their wrongful conviction.